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Funny Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate but Fabulous!

DISCLAIMER: These cross stitch patterns are not for the faint of heart. These are not your grandmas patterns. Many contain cuss words and words that might be offensive. If you are easily offended please don't scroll through the rest of the post. I have a total potty mouth around my closest friends and I keep it under wraps around my kiddos and in my public life but secretly deep down I find these inappropriate funny cross stitch patterns totally fabulous! This is a light hearted and fun post and I am not trying to say anything through the post. If you don't like it please leave now and don't scroll down and get all in a huff pretty please! Here is a huge list of subversive cross stitch patterns to keep you entertained!

Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate but Fabulous: These patterns are not for the faint of heart. If you are easily offended please don't open these. Click through for a full list of inappropriate cross stitch patterns. | www.sewwhatalicia.com

Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate but Fabulous!

If I could I would make lots of these and have a wall full of hoops with inappropriate sayings. But I have kids so I have to just laugh at them on the internet for now! When you make one send me a photo so I can live vicariously. If you are looking for fabulous cross stitch patterns that don't have bad words check THESE out.

If you are more of an embroiderer, THESE funny embroidery patterns might be for you!

Click the title or image to be taken to the pattern.

Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

I find these cross stitch patterns to be hilarious! I just love the juxtaposition of a beautiful technique with bad words. Maybe I still have the sense of humor of a middle schooler but I make no apologies for it! You have to tell me which of these funny cross stitch patterns is your favorite, leave me a comment in the comment section below.

Bitch Patterns

**Resting B*tch Face**

I think I totally have one of these! I just can't help it. The scowl is permanently etched on my face.

pictured cross stitch hoop with words she's beauty she's grace she's got resting bitch face

**Abracadabra B*tch**

Ha! Have someone you need to send a nastygram to? This would be ideal! Ok I would never send a nastygram but I might send this to a friend since we know what we are!

pictured cross stitch framed that reads abracadabra nope you're still a bitch

Adios Bitchachos

Ha! Love this one!

pictured chile pepper with sombrero and words reading adios bitchachos

Funny as F*CK Patterns

**Rainbow F*ck Pattern**

Y'all know I love a rainbow right? And this may be my favorite cuss word. This one looks like a ton of work but one that would totally be worth it in the end.

pictured rainbow cross stitches covering an entire hoop with word fuck in white

Fresh out of fucks

I ran out of these a long time ago!

cross stitch pattern with words fresh out of fucks

F*ck Off Pattern

Can I put this on my door for solicitors? No I don't want solar panels or to convert.

pictured cross stitch pattern with flowers and words fuck off

**F*ck Housework**

OMG YASSSS! I am the absolute worst at housework. I hate it with the fire of 1000 suns!

pictured cross stitch hoop with words fuck housework

**Running Out of f*cks**

Please say it does count as cardio.

pictured framed cross stitch reading does running out of fucks count as cardio

**Because F*ck You**

Hahaha need I say more?

pictured cross stitch in hoop reading because fuck you that's why

Do all Things with Kindness

Yes be kind always!

pictured funny cross stitch hoop reading do all things with kindness you fucker

**F*ck Pattern**

Ha! Don't be offended. I told you this was my favorite curse word!

pictured cross stitch in hoop with word fuck written multiple times

More fun patterns

Wtf?

This is so appropriate right about now!

cross stitch pattern with words i am presently experiencing life at the rate of several wtf's per hour

Swearing will help

I mean, doesn't it ALWAYS help?

pictured cross stitch with words maybe swearing will help

**Don't P*ss Me Off**

Seriously! I need to put this somewhere that my husband can see it all the time!

pictured framed cross stitch reading don't piss me off

Nice Poop

Hang this one in your bathroom to give your guests a good chuckle! Make sure you have some Febreeze to go with it.

pictured cross stitch hoop with words have a nice poop

Shit Happens

Yes it certainly does.

pictured cross stitch pattern reading shit happens with floral frame

Kinda Perverted Patterns

Every Hand You've Shaken

Ok you guys I totally debated not putting this one in but I couldn't resist. This hits me right in my funny bone and I think it is freaking hilarious! I hope you take it that way too! I bet you had never thought about it this way had you?

pictured cross stitch with floral embellishments and wording reading almost every dick you've ever shaken has had a dick in it

Don't be a prick!

Seriously, just don't be one!

pictured cross stitch reading don't b a prick with four cactus framed on a rock background

Anything can be a dildo…

How brave ARE you??

Blow Me!

Seems about right to me…

pictured framed cross stitch with a picture of a dandelion and wording blow me

Great Tits

These birds are called…oh nevermind.

two birds and the words great tits

PIN Funny Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate

I hope you found this post to be lighthearted and fun. If not, I did warn you at the beginning to skip it! Will you use one of these cross stitch patterns? Share with me in the comments below.

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